I was there, 5 month before 911, and I will never forget it!

I was there standing in front of the Twin Towers and the World Trade Center (WTC)_I took a vacation time from my job in April 2011_ And I was there 5 months before 911 and I will never forget it. Right there in front of the building I thought about the terrorists attack of the WTC in 1993 I had read about it during one of my college courses, and it really shocked me to realized that there were not much worry about terrorism then. “Terrorism was considered the least dangerous disaster in America ” my old text-book affirmed. It gave me Goosebumps to think about it. But there in 2011 few month before September 11 I not only thought about it, I smell it, I felt it!. I smell the smoke. I saw the smoke. The sunlight was fire. The fog was smoke. The city smell, was the smell victims, survivors, and family members will never ever forget. I remember the a news reporter interviewing a survivor. They said it smelled like burnt rubbers. There birds in the sky, the birds where the papers, and the birds were also the human birds. The human angels. I felt sick of my stomach, I felt dizzy because of the heat and the burning sensation I felt on my face and hands, even though I was standing there on a 40 degrees cold winter weather. I thought, “this is probably what would have happened in 1993, if that attach would have being worse, or maybe the weather and the chill were making my face and gloved hands feel warm”. I was feeling a burning sensation on my face. I was letting my imagination run wild thinking what would’ve happened in 1993. But I could never imagine what was about to happen in 2001. Meanwhile, back in my head Nostradamus words where ringing. And I was dizzy again. And I wanted to get out of there. I did not wanted to take the free tour my husband’s uncle, a Port Authority Police officer, and later a survivor and hero of the WTC, was probably going to give us. I was there, in front of the Twin Towers, and my knees where giving up. It was not the first dizzy spell I had experienced. After the car accident I had in ’96 I experienced many small dizzy spells, specially when looking up or trying to reach for a high cabinet shelf. There’s medical evidence that can testify to that but there’s no medical or physical evidence that could explain the other feelings I was having at that moment, on that morning in front of the Twin Towers. That was the 1st time and the last time I recall ever seeing the towers. We were recording them from the distance, close to the front entrance. I refused to go up, or to get inside the building. I’m afraid of heights. It was my dream to be there, and now that I had gotten there I could not get closer. I was recording it with an old video cassette camera. I could not hold my video camera still. I gave the camera to one of my girls, then to my husband. I tried to stay calm while we were standing in front of the WTC building observing how tall it was. But I was having an anxiety attach. Inside my chest my heart was pounding hard. I had my heart in my mouth. I was screaming inside myself to everybody to run from that building, to run. I was thinking I finally lost it. I’m going to be locked up. And I was screaming inside “Let’s get out of here”. “Get me out of here!” “It’s burning.” “Let’s get out of here now”. “It smells like fire” And somehow those two last words that I screamed to myself, remained recorded as soft but desperate words in our video camera, as I pulled my husband’s arm to leave the area. The WTC area. The ground zero area, that for the strangest reason it had transported me to a day-dreaming nightmare of a tragedy that didn’t happen in 1993, but it was about to happen that same yr. of 09/11. September 11 was a tragedy that touched us all in one way or another. So there’s not one single person in America that does not know a relative, a friend, a co-worker, or someone who is a victim or survivor of September 11. I wonder if my DNA matches the one of those lost lives…

Evelyn Lallave-Rodriguez
Born in Brooklyn NY

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