Being Popular; Why does everyone wants to fit it in?

I wonder why there is so much struggle to being popular in schools and even at work. Why does everyone wants to fit it in?. But I think I know a little secret about being popular, and that is being different and being yourself. Yes in contrary to what people think, being different and having other follow your lead is what makes you being popular. But good “popular”. What makes people like you, is being caring and a good person, not a doormat, but also not a pusher and shover, or bully.

I remember that all I cared for as growing up was being unique. I wanted to be always different, and be my own self. No matter what people thought or said about me, I was happy of being this random, hyper, punkish/rocker hot chick. And opposite to what people thought I hated with all my heart being called “popular”. For me that meant that they were calling me a slut and I was no slut. I was not a “mean girl”, well maybe a little. And I was not a follower either. I was a leader. That was how I saw myself, and I was not in the wrong track, but I needed few adjustments in my way of seeing things.

Did I wanted to fit in? Yes, like any other young girl I did to wanted to fit in, and also being accepted as the person I was. Yet I hated common rules, I hated being told what to do, when and how. I also hated being one more chick in the flock. I will fit in, I used to say, but on my own terms. And that’s how I flowed through middle school and high school. Made few enemies but also I made lot and lots of friends.

Once I grew older, I became someone that was not so unique, was more “common”, and a little vanilla, well not so much. People do laugh when I say I’m a little vanilla, not sure if it is because of my golden chestnut tan or my colorful outfits and bright diablo red lipstick. But some people also laugh when I said I used to be popular, which is sort of a puzzle to me when they say, “oh really?!”. But besides that, and the changes I made in my life I became much happier and fulfilled that what I ever was in my high school and college years.

I grew up, and I became wiser. And Little by little I saw the label ‘popular’ being stripped of my shoulders and forehead. And I look back into those pretty fun, wild, but also very complicated early years of my life, and I saw how scared and lonely I really was. Was being popular then all worth it? No. IT WASN’T.

(It makes my skin crawls of how people on their mid to late twenties and early to mid 30’s are still fighting to be the most popular in the neighbors, at work, on social networks, which I refuse to promote any of them so no names here, and at their social circles. So it makes me a little mad. It sometimes leaves me with the feeling of “Duh, am I the “Ugly Betty” in here?”. Why so much competition and drama?)

So my advice is, be yourself, but remember always that you don’t need to step in others people toes to do so, and you don’t need to hurt others in order to be called a leader. You need to give a quick but deep look at yourself and realize why pushing people over, bullying, gossiping, wearing the shortest shorts and skirts, the latest fashion, having all the guys fighting over you, or dying your hair hot red, blond, pink, green or the latest colors and fashions is not really that important, or more important than true friendships and true love.

Believe me, being yourself, truly yourself, is the most important and unselfish thing to do. Being popular, super fashionable, or the next big hot thing, is not so important after all, and is not why you are in school, or college. That is the time to truly know yourself, plan your life goals and educate yourself.

I once gave up a lot of my goals, a lot of my dreams for being someone I didn’t even wanted to be. I thought that all my rebellion was setting me apart and making me unique, but it wasn’t. I was only another mean girl. And to think how much it used to piss me off being called that. So if you want to be popular, try not to forget to look at yourself in the mirror of others first and do not do onto others what you do not want to be done onto yourself.