There I was, laying in bed. 55 degrees felt like 35 degrees. A blanket was wrapped around my naked body. A peace making flag? Or the tool of my destruction? Who knows?
I held it up close to my chest, then I stood up slowly.
I began walking to the open door. Then I was running on a dark empty field. I felt people, someone, running, behind me. Steps were following me. Then everything went dark. Everything was pitch black. But I saw a light…
I saw fire too, and a handsome man smiling to me. Where was I? Where?
I woke up, and found myself in my bed. My feet were barefooted and I was covered with my oldest quilt, also dark blue, and green. I loved earthy dark colors then. It matched my exotic mood. My favorite color is blue, but I also love green. It’s the color of the money. The money that I needed, but I never seemed to find. I was in hole, covered up in depth from my foot to my neck. All my debts were killing me slowly. I had heart palpitations each time I had to pay my rent and the other always late bills. I could barely buy groceries, go shopping, let alone to save.
You may say, Oh, Boohoo! I agree. I was on my own pity party. Couldn’t afford the trip on this world. I was to tired to keep fighting and the b.s. my life was. The mess I found myself in felt so big that I didn’t cared to leave this world. I was simply a visiting butterfly who was ready to find new lairs, a new home, whether it was heaven or hell. The hell could not be worst than what I was living then. I was death inside already, a temporary host in my body; a hunted gypsy soul who was ready to “pick-up camp” and take her life’s circus to another place, and foreign bodies… I was drunk a lot, too drunk to make sense of anything. My thought were as random as my actions in those few years, before the night that I died. An old car had run my sports car over. A stranger was my savior, and my killer. But I was revived. Yet I died for 10 long minutes. So my doctor said. He fought to revive me even after he was supposed to let me go. He said I was to pretty to die. A doctor with pervert eyes brought me back to this earth and to my sufferings.
I suddenly heard a noise by the door and there he was looking at me. He stood in front of me calling my name softly, repeatedly. I open my tired eyes and saw him in the dark as he said, “I saved you from that terrible accident. You’ll live”. The Dr. smiled kindly at me and then he turned and walked out of the room slowly, just as he had came in. I was still in the hospital not my room, I soon realized. Everything was so confusing then. I waived. I had no idea there had being an accident. But I couldn’t speak, there was some blood on my upper lips and they felt swollen and painful. Everything was shaking and moving in circles around me. “Hey!” I yelled at him. He turned back and as he got near he smiled. “Did you drugged me?” I asked him. He smiled, “I gave you something for the pain. That’s all” I tried to see if he was telling the truth by staring at his face. But nothing his expression was totally blank. Nothing there. I have no idea he was my doctor, as my mind was in a confused haze.
“Yes, I remember now, someone was following me in the dark. Then I was driving, really fast. The next thing I knew, I was here in bed. But this is not my room.” He nod and said, “Well you are save now. Where you drinking? If you were, I have to report it to the police.” I looked at him in disbelief. “What a nerve! Why in the hell I’m naked?” I said to him when I saw my breasts and nipples peering out of the blanket. He smiled again and shook his head. “You had pieces of glass all over your body. I’m going to get a nurse to clean you up and get you a hospital gown to cover you up.” I was angry and had no idea why. I yelled at him, “You should have done that already and not be staring at me like that!”
He didn’t replied. He just went to grab some alcohol and wipes and began to wipes my hands, my fingers, and arms. I stood quiet as he did that. Then I said, “My head and neck hurts really bad. Can you please give me something from the pain.” “In a few minutes, I fetch you something for that, just relax. You are in the best hands now.” Everything he said and the way he said it, seemed to have some innuendo, some hidden meaning. But I was beginning to feel at ease near him. He walked out of the room and came back with a cup of water and two pills and instructed me to drink it up. I obeyed and drank them from his hands he held my neck and poured the pills and water into my mouth.
“It will make you feel better. Your friend, in the other room. She is already awake.” He said and smiled again. “I wasn’t alone then?” I said surprised. He nodded. “You weren’t. . When I found you you had blood all over you. You were hurt badly. For I could see from looking at you. And you were declared death by the Paramedics. But I gave you CPR and managed to stabilize you. You were death for long 10 minutes. One of the longest time I’ve seen someone coming back from. When I thought you were gone. You breathe. I was very happy for you.”
I remain quiet, listening to his strange account of my accident. “As I waited for you to come through, back to life, I prayed for you. You were almost death. Then you were death. And I was sad for you.” He recounted the accident as if he was still there, “I have an office across from the street from where your accident was. I heard the commotion and ran out my office and helped you.” I tried to interrupt him to thank him, but he said that I didn’t needed to thank him that it was his duty to save a life. Specially such a young one as mine. He seemed really sincere and sweet. All my worried and confusion were dissipating. I felt glad that he had being there and also that he was my Dr. now. I was beginning to feel that we knew before, and that is was no coincidence that he was there. I grabbed his hand making him jump. “Please don’t let me die!” He caressed my hand and my finger, “Don’t be scared, you are recovering fine. You will survive this. We may have to take you to the surgery room soon.” “What are you going to do?” “We need to operate your hips and see how bad your spine is.” “Please, don’t. Put a cast or something. Keep me in bed for as long as it needs for me to recover, but I do not want more scars and metals or screws in my body. I’m a model and I don’t want you to ruin that for me.” “We will see what we can do but you have two broken pelvis, and your spine was affected too. We can’t guarantee that you’ll walk again.” “I do not authorize any surgeries! You should have done it before. But now that I’m awake I will not sign for any surgery. There may be another option.” He seemed mad at me then, “We will see what we can do. For now we are waiting for the CT scan and the other X-Rays to see what we need to do. Relax try to sleep.”
I needed to stay relaxed, but as I took my last breath in I felt dizzy, as usual, with the difference that this time my left hand went numb. Next was my right hand. And there were small traces of blood on each one of my hands, right in the middle of my palms, there was drop of blood, like a dark black dot inside of my palms. “Not again!” Last time I got a scar that lasted me over a month, and people began to ask me what it was. I had a blood shot mark on the superior part of my hand and also inside my palms. It was strange, but not unusual to me. I had seen it before.
Last night was not last night. Last night was centuries ago. I had blood on my clothes, blood on my scarred palms and I was followed by people calling me Witch. But it was in another other time. Old times. Another life, it seems. In this life there was a strange man in the doorway of my room, a Dr. he said, staring at me and calling my name softly. In my previous life, I was being persecuted and called Witch. How both of my lives collided with each other it was a mystery that I had no answers for. I simply knew that in this life I was a mere mortal and human, but in a previous life I was a powerful Sorceress that loved to play a Sitara, and Harp music too until her hands bled.
“I’m Ivan Vincent, you can find me in the Yellow-book”, the Dr. said when he returned to my room, finding me half awake. I smiled and said to him, “You just put your number on my cellphone Dr. Vincent. I’m sure we are both adults here so quit it with the surprise look on your face.” He closed his mouth and pretended not to blush. Then he said “You kissed me earlier, when I was watching you sleep near your bed. I kissed you back. I’m sorry for that. This never happened to me before and it never will. I promise you that.” Saying this he left looking remorseful and somewhat upset at himself, or was he mad at me for kissing him? I looked out the window and smiled. I could not believe that I had actually kissed my Doctor. I was not totally asleep. I was just dazed. saw the sky turning a dark shade of gray. The rain fell in large silvery droplets and the wind and clouds looked like a tornado was forming. The trees near by were making a cracking loud sound and a branch felt over a car at the Hospital’s parking lot. There was a big storming coming soon. I felt it inside my bones. They hurt somehow and my muscles were tight around my joints. I felt a light shiver and had goosebumps all over my arms. Suddenly knew it. This wasn’t the first time I had being near dead. This was actually the second time that I had being nearly DEAD!
I had being dead before. But the strange part about it was that it wasn’t the first time either. I had died years ago for close to 5 minutes. The first time I died I saw a handsome man staring at me with long hair and green color eyes. I saw a light and fire all over me. I guess he was an angel because when I asked for him, after waking up from a short coma, no one had seen him. I saw a bright light and smiley faces in all shapes and colors. But the Doctors and Nurses had said that the lights that I saw were just the surgery room lights. I knew he had made that up. Then the second time my own light was out and I was out of this world for what it seemed like a very long time.
I met my killer weeks before. This man was a mystery to me. But I knew how and where to find him. I looked outside and more flashbacks of the night before my first death came to me abruptly and painfully. I remember seeing a light. But what I saw was not a beautiful bright light. It was a pale light, but a light nevertheless, still. I soft light with fog around it. There was fire ahead. And somewhere in there there was a bad lit road in the middle of all the darkness. I stood there and stared long at it. I stared at the light, then at the fire, then back to that badly lit road an I knew and felt that I was drifting towards it, sort of floating over the road. Then a man was smiling at me and everything was pitch black.
But then I found myself awake, laying on my hospital bed still staring a that darkness through the window. Looking out at the parking lot and the bad lit road ahead. A bright light passed through the trees, that were still shaken by the strong winds and making cracking noises, then just as swiftly the light disappeared. And I was still there, alive and confused. Just as I am now, telling a story that might be real or might be pure fiction. But I’ll let you be the judge of it. Yet, don’t haste. This story is not over yet. There’s so much more to tell. So many details I’ve avoided on purpose to have you all feel somehow the same confusion state my character here was filling.
To Be Continued!!!
___In the meantime I am again laying on my bed and stretching out my body as I stare at my bloodshot scars over my palms, maybe my long nails have being pressing to hard on my skin causing them, or maybe I’m really a the ghost of a Sorceress with past life scars, or a young woman with a pretty vivid imagination. Who knows? That’s sometimes difficult to discern, even to myself. Then I conclude that I’m all of the above.
Please read my story in full, comment, and share!
Author/ Writer: Evelyn Rodriguez – Lallave