No Regrets by an Unapologetical Fierce Woman

“I live with no regrets. Unapologetic. And one day at a time.”  _E.R.L.

Hello World,

Sometimes, I wonder why would anyone wants to read my blogs? Or what is it that will finally bring them to my pages, my books? What can I do to get people to read me, see me as a Writer/Blogger/Author. Am I even interesting enough? I ask myself many questions every morning, as the sun penetrates the sheer lime green courtains of my window and bathe me with its glistening warm.

For example, What I’ll be sharing with my few loyal followers? The book loves who fallow my random stories and short novels. What I’m expecting to find or to give back? And what if I’m sharing to much or maybe to little? What things will interest them, hook them to me? Do the same things will interest me, if it was the other way around?  How can I get people like me and read and share my book? ( By the way is at:  http://www.lulu.com/shop/evelyn-lallave-rodriguez/poems-from-a-gypsy-soul/paperback/product-4972893.html )

I also ask why do I care for all of this? Why do I care so much? Yes I def. care too much! I want to be liked, to be loved. Admired. Not judged. I never was this needy, but now I need it. Maybe more than sex. Writing and being appreciated as Writer has devoured me, consumed me, involved me in a dream of words & letters that wasn’t important to me before. Fashion and makeup was my love, reading too, but writing?    Never.

I always enjoyed writing, it was never my priority. I guess we, bloggers, journalists, writers, and artist in general have a bit of need for approval, or exhibitionism too, if you may. We are a little bit of attention-addicts, opinionated people, intellectuals, and dreamers, just like I am. Some of us may be gifted, or geniuses turned crazy. Some are a bit crazy turned into geniuses. Or maybe a just a little healthy mix of both, like I sometimes consider myself to be. (I don’t know what category I fall into really. Maybe in none of them or all. Who knows! )

There is a fine line for everything. So I try to concern myself in being  myself, unapologetically me! Nothing more, nothing less_and breathe. Namaste! ( a yoga reference from a book I’m reading, another project, I’m not even a Yogi.)

I can be very extroverted when it comes to share things with total strangers, because I don’t care if they will judge me or not. Mostvof the time they don’t judge, because they don’t care. I can say, for example, “I want to have my boobs done just like yours ” to a busty bartender bragging about her recent boob’s job,  even slightly touch them if the allow me too, but I can never tell that to a close friend, “Chica, I want to get my nose or chin done, just like you got it done” “Here, let me feel them!”. But I can be pretty blunt with a stranger, a friend my get offended, so I measure my words and actions around them. The prude of the group. The good girl. Most of the time they only get to see half of who I am. Unless we are really really very close friends.

Somehow I have created an outer wall, even from the closest people to me. There’s many levels of friendship to me, more than the levels in Cientology, I believe. Not that I don’t trust people or care for them and their capacity of empathy and understanding is that, as a person I can be a bit reserved. In turn, as a writer I can just be bold, let my walls down and cloaks fall, really express my opinions and my controversial ideals, and my out of the box, points of view.

It makes me feel so helpless when people think they can abuse others, hurt others feelings, and treat other people as less. I was always this person that always stepped forward to voice out my feelings to help someone else. Now not so much. I’ve been changing, becoming cynical, distant, cold, bias, and even egotistical, things I picked up in my many years living in FL. But when I write, I am honest, soft, kind, open, and even fierce again. Overall, people’s opinions are important to me.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that it really matters. For me, it depends whether I’m in the mood to accept your opinion or helpful critics, or I’m feeling bitchy and don’t want to hear someone’s arrogant, spoiled mouth running and blabbing their bullshit to me, specially when it is about me, about my own person and my life.

So I would usually speak up my mind, when it comes to stand for myself, though I pick my battles. If I stay quiet when someone offends me, whenever it’s possible. It may still be bothering me later and will linger on my pillow at night like a funky smell, with the akin thought that I wasn’t really there for myself, to defend myself. But you can’t just fight everyone who’s snippy or nasty with you.

Someone once told me, when I first came to Florida, from Puerto Rico, “chill out kiddo, and learn to pick your fights!” and “you have your heart on on your sleeves kiddo.” Now I pick my fights more carefully. But I won’t stay quiet when I face or see injustice. I will find a way to speak up even if its by writing and Blogging. That’s just who I am. I certainly have no regrets of being Me! I am an Unapologetic Woman. And I’m proud to be this way!

Why am I on a “Power Ride”? Because I can!

Women tend to be the strongest and worst critics when it comes to criticizing their own. But men, they will have a love-hate relation with women that seem strong, and powerful to them. Men call these women, all names from feminists, to power junkies, to lesbians, or worst.

Well, I am a business woman, I sell travel, I sell my books, I sell insurance and services, I sell cars, and I love being my boss. Do I make a lot of money? No. Do I feel powerful? You bet I do!. Am I a money or power junkie or a feminist? No! Be sure of that!!!

I hate being condemned for wanting to earn a living in a way that is enjoyable to me. I hate being condemned for enjoying challenge, and appreciate the reward of being a dedicated business woman. Being a Sales person does not make me much money, neither trying to grow my own business. But that is something I enjoy. Something I love to do, to work, to write, to market travel offers, to sell leading brand eye wears, cars, and more. Plus to market and sell my 2 books. I study for that, to do just that. And I’m not done learning.

Yes, this is a rambling note/blog, more like a monologue since I do not intend to go into an intrinsic topic about why am I on a “power ride” like some so called “friends” have told me on my own face.

I simply intend to comment about a situation that Ive being into and that I feel some other women, specially mothers, who also are mixing their motherhood, and spousal duties, with “Corporate America” and who are probably a mother and a father at the same time like my older daughter and working and fighting to go up in the business ladder, but are too exhausted to be made guilty of trying to bring bread to the table, and become successful at the same time, and not being valued or loved enough. But, in their name, I say enough is enough. I demand better. Women deserve better! Don’t we?

Someting about me, so you all get to meet me a bit better; I was a Banker once, an Insurance Broker/Sales person with the owner’s business license as back up, since I was in progress of getting mine, until I got duped, and in the end I lost money. Today I have nothing to show for it, for all my hard work, I’ve done at banks, as entry level in many Sales fields, Management, etc. Today nothing is enough….

So I said to myself, “I am not going to say good-bye to this “Corporate America” devil, I will join it by becoming my own boss. And I did it.

Now What?

Now I have to fight for all that I want to achieve. I have to jump in that power horse, and market, market, market, and promote myself, promote my writings, my work, and build a business somehow, everything I do and wish to achieve, and to prove myself but only to myself, to be in an equal level with men and those people who have treated me and other women less. Like they are superior or some crap.

But by no means I am some sort of feminist, or anything. I’m simply a woman who wishes to be on eye level with men. Dig the terrain, shoulder to shoulder, with them. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate that, will only get from me a sneer, a roll of my eyes, or a sarcastically response. And if someone asks me again “Why am I on a “power ride?” Simple, baby. Because I can!

Author/Writer/ Blogger: Evelyn Rodriguez-Lallave
Co-owner of Lallave Auto Sales & Repair and QSN (lallaveauto@gmail.com have used cars available in Pinellas Park. Also buying cars for dealer on consignment. Trade ins accepted.)

(Author of “Poems from a Gypsy Soul” at #Amazon.com, Createspace.com and Lulu.com. Now on Kindle too. )

Some Freelance Writer:

Email be above for collaboration requests.

http://www.examiner.com/article/bring-all-the-rainbow-colors-to-your-wedding

Hello World! by E.R.L.

HELLO WORLD!

This is my story;

I am an Amateur Photographer, and Artist and an Author. Yes. I’m a Published Author. My books are in Amazon.com search by my name. But besides that I’m mainly a Blogger, since I can remember, and a jack of all traits. I do Sales Consulting, Collections, Marketing, even Management. But my life is in the letters and the photography. That and journalism, any journalism attracts me a lot. I used to dream of being a Traveling Writer so I could circle the world and write about it, plus write my little poems and stories from exotic and amazing incredible places. But as it is it all stayed in dreams. I have circled the world through my friends and families, maybe I should interview them and beg them to live precariously through their stories and images. Maybe I get my story then. I just love writing, it fills up certain void in my life. It brings me joy.

As a young girl I knew I was an Artist and a Writer. Even by elementary school, I would read tons of books and then write my own ending or my sequels of them. I would not show anyone feeling totally embarrassed and thinking it was something wrong, like plagiarizing or just reading something that wasn’t age appropriate. In school my poems and creative drawings adorned the teacher’s classrooms, and the Principal Hernandez’s (RIP), office. Since I was a very young gifted & hyper child who loved to write and paint, he would encourage me to paint, write, or read to stay out of trouble. He made me promised him to one day become a teacher or a lawyer. I said how bout a writer? He said, “Writer is good, but they don’t make money. You should be a lawyer if you don’t want to be a teacher. But study hard cause to be a lawyer you need to read a lot, and big book.”  That killed it for me. I never liked reading big books. So secretively I settled for Writer. He never knew. The last time he saw me, I had enrolled college as Elementary Teacher, but then changed my major to Computer and Business. He would probably like that too. See, I never met my father, so indirectly he was the father figure I needed.

I can’t say that I turned out to be a great Writer. But I’m happy with what I write and having the world wide web, the social networks, sites like wordpress, where I can share my passion for writing with others that shares the same joy, passion, and love for what they do. I really cherish all of my stories, my poems, drawings, and writings with all my heart.

My stories, poetry, blogs, and my arts and photographs, they mean a great deal to me. So I decided to share my creative work with the world, with the only hope that with you opinions and comments I get to learn more of this tasks and improve myself and my writings everyday. I only wish that I don’t get bullied, mocked, criticized, or called Autistic for my love for the letters and the Arts in general and to be able to morph into a great butterfly coming out of my cocoon with better brighter colors and lots of great artistic works to share with all.

So if you enjoy my blog and stories, Please Re-share it, Like it, Comment on it and Share it with your friends and loved ones, and the friends of your friends, etc. Also #followme here and in #twitter as @EvelynBlogger or in #instagram as @EvesCollection 🙂

Thanks for reading me,

Evie

Loves, and Truly Yours,

Evie

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More About EVELYN LALLAVE :

A self published Author of “Poems From A Gypsy Soul”, a poetry book.
The 2nd Ed. is “Poems from a Gypsy Soul; Healing Time. You can find them in Lulu.com, Amazons.com and Kindle.
http://www.amazon.com/Evelyn-Lallave-Rodriguez/e/B005F5M5EO

….Aside from poetry I am writing few short stories and novels, such as Clair is Not At Home, and Believing in Love at First Sight. There are few recent short stories that I am also working on such The Women By the Sea and The Not So Quiet Woman.

Overall, I’m just a Blogger/Sales Rep. who dreams to be a Best Seller Writer one day…So if you may get the word out about my poems and my short stories I would greatly appreciate it and pls. let me know so I can return the favor.

I know you will enjoy most of my blogs here as I enjoyed writing them and sharing them with you, my new friends. I humbly appreciate you following my work. Also leave your Twitter, Tumbler, Facebook, or Google info in your comments and link to your writings for me to follow you back. I will. 🙂

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